The faith community that I am a part of (Impact) just finished up a study of the Book of the Twelve (what many Christians call the Minor prophets). While most of us rarely venture into these books, it is to our loss. Those books are full of profound truths … and some hilarious quotes. It is seriously good material – far more challenging, interesting and humorous than what we hear proclaimed from many pulpits on Saturday and Sunday. Of course, I am not sure how well these messages would be received by our churches if we were the original audience. Prophetic words tend to be more palatable with some distance!

Here are some of my favorite lines from the Book of the Twelve. Read them, enjoy a good laugh, and most importantly – let the point that God is making sink into the fiber of your being.

To the corrupt religious leaders: “I will splatter your faces with the dung of your sacrifices.” Malachi 2:3

To a nation in great distress, in spite of their efforts to gain comfort by focusing on themselves: “Consider how things are going for you!” Haggai 1:7

To a prophet who needed to make a point: “Go marry a whore.” Hosea 1:2

To the women of a gluttonous and oppressive culture: “Listen to me you fat cows.” Amos 4:1

What do you think about God busting out those statements?

Want more? Spend some time reading the ancient Hebrew prophets!